Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
