I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
