What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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