My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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