I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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