At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
