My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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