I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
