Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
