Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Randomize
