I cannot find my penis.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship