Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
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They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
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LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.