okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
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The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.