You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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