goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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