Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
