so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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