She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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