His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
