We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
