drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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