i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
