She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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