And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
