If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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