I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize