She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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