It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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