We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize