We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
