She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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