stop calling my apartment porn island.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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