Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
