Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
