Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
