Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
