"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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