i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
