well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
