I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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