Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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