he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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