Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
