Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
