I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so that wasnt chicken after all
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
