this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
