i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
