margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
