i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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