I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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