I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
