I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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