My boss' voice literally gives me gas
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
