just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
