I bet he comes in French.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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